17 January 2011

5 Weeks

I’m hiding from blood;
Clenching my thighs in protest.
How can I trust my intuition,
If it’s polluted by my dread?
Beading hope with alarm,
Bliss with worry,
Longing with surrender.
I am a doll of fate,
Gnashed about in the grip of the unknowable.
I measure my confidence in weeks.
If life is paradox,
Then must my greatest joy always,
And in equal measure,
Accompany my most ardent fear?
To celebrate is to mourn.
Yet, this duality proffers no comfort.
Shall I linger in uncertainty
Expectant of peace?
To even utter the word,
L_st
Is to give it power.
But, to trap it in a cloud of unknowing
Is, perhaps, to let it root and grow
Alongside the life
That fights to transform and persist.
Let it be concedes
To let it die.
If it is meant to be
Sits bitter and metallic on my tongue.
And so, there is but one
Meek and sincere imperative
Crying out from my stretching uterus
That vibrates every tendon, capillary, tissue
As it makes its way
To my cracked and trembling lips,
Please.
Please.
Please.

2 comments:

mme. bookling said...

you heart is my heart.
i plead with you.

protect this woman.
protect this woman.
protect this woman.

(i have a work by kelly over my bed that utters this very phrase via tiny milagros)

come loss or come gain,
you will be mother.

UmberDove said...

Just to say, I was here, I am here, I will be here. And that I will believe in your body.