where is health?

if my health is entangled in my soul
and the interminable list of extraordinary ailments
perpetually expands
what does this tell of my soul?

am i enduring the trials of job
not according to my sin
or under the unjust scrutiny of god
but, a reprehensible test of faith?

or is this the work of empathy
that great tug of war betwixt the bleeding hearts
and my own anxious circle of life
which manifests as pestering illness?

could it be that a life of self-neglect
lobotomized from any real body presence
has finally caught up with me
and demands to be heard through painful means?

wherefore is my body riddled with
vertigo, migraines, uterine charlie horses, tendinitis, arthritis,
tmj, inflammation, fatigue, insomnia, palpitations, deviated septum,
thyroid nodules, autoimmune malfunction and pain, so much pain?

do i really want to know the state of my soul?
are these afflictions the abject denial of my soul's true state?
do i have a soul?
where is health?